About 20 percent of teens have experienced signs of depression. The internet can be a great place to find support and to join in solidarity. Still, if an online friend is depressed, it's important to consider a few things that may be able to help them or encourage them to find help on their own. Letting a friend know that they have your support can go a long way in an online friendship.
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Remember that you are not ultimately responsible for your friend's well being. It can be helpful to refer your friend to a trusted adult or a helpline, especially if that friend is in crisis.
Being there for your friend when they are depressed can be helpful, but if your friend is showing signs of suicide, it may be time for further intervention. Signs of suicide may include your friend telling you they want to kill themselves, expressing feelings of hopelessness, stating that this is 'the end' for them, or getting affairs in order (writing goodbye notes, giving away their things, acting reckless). If a friend is acting suicidal, you may want to ask them whether they want to commit suicide or are planning in order to assess the risk in their situation. It is best to introduce them to people who can help them, while still remaining calm and understanding of their situation.
Here are some resources you can refer your friend to:
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It can be difficult to know that someone you care for is going through abuse, especially when you're not in face-to-face contact with them. However, the best thing you can do for your friend is reach out to them and let them know that you care about and support them. It is often also helpful to refer your friend to people who are experienced in helping teens through these issues.
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If a friend's issues are taking a serious toll on your mental health, it might be time to step back and assert boundaries. Say something like, "I'm sorry you're going through this, but I don't know if I'm qualified/in the right mental state/the right person to help you," and direct them to resources that might help.
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You may have heard that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and that certainly rings true online. On top of needing to use communication to foster understanding between both parties, communication in online relationships also constitutes an important part of digital citizenship. In order to effectively communicate with your friend online, it can help to acknowledge your friend's emotions and let you know you respect and value their feelings while still asserting yourself and your boundaries.
It's important to be able to feel comfortable in any friendship or relationship. In online friendships, it maybe harder harder to communicate effectively due to physical distance and differences in body language. Still, if someone is overstepping boundaries you've asserted, it's beneficial to communicate your concerns. In a healthy interpersonal relationship, your voice should be heard. If someone is truly making you feel uncomfortable or pressuring you to do something you don't want to do, despite your attempts to communicate, it may be time to cut contact.
If a friend is making you genuinely feel unsafe, it's a good time to immediately cut contact. Refer to the resources in your Crisis Plan and tell a trusted adult. Remember that there is no shame in blocking and reporting anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable, and that you owe nothing to them. If someone is exploiting you in an illegal manner, report them at http://report.cybertip.org/.
No online friendship is 100% safe. Still, there are ways to protect yourself by being a savvy internet user. While navigating the internet, it's important to keep in mind that the same rules about setting boundaries and maintaining healthy relationships that you might use in real life still apply in the context of online friendships. There's also other guidelines that you should keep in mind when navigating an online relationship, the most important being to trust your instincts, and to never hesitate to block and report.
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If you have any additional questions regarding maintaining healthy relationships with others, feel free to ask through the submission form below, and we will get back to you as soon as possible